WHY IT’S HARD TO TELL WHAT’S TRUE
A healthy relationship with the truth is essential for a happy, successful life.
But this is not a simple thing; the ability to see, acknowledge, and accept what’s true – about ourselves, our circumstances, our relationships; our own strengths and weaknesses, and the challenges we face – is actually much harder than it may seem.
We have all known people in our lives who are smart, self-aware, and curious, but they keep making the same mistakes over and over in one particular area of their lives. You see it, other people see it, but they don’t seem to see it at all.
It’s even more difficult when other people are seeing things that we don’t see – and seeing that we don’t see them.
I remember as a young psychotherapist in my 20s (I’ve been doing this for a very long time!) discovering a new approach or technique that seemed to do wonders. All I could see was the success, and it was exciting.
What I wasn’t seeing was my own confirmation bias, that would minimize my assessment of where it didn’t work very well, and maximize where it did.
It took some time and experience to see that every approach has its strengths and weaknesses, and every client I work with is unique – what’s helpful with one person may do nothing for another.
And this sort of confirmation bias is something I still have to stay continually vigilant about – because our biases never disappear.




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